Memoirs of a “Psychopath” removing the mask…..

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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As the saying goes takes one to know one, but when you genuinely think of what a psychopath is, be honest, according to majority of people it’s some creeped out individual that lives alone in the woods in an abandoned cabin, but then again even psychiatrists refuse to use this term “psychopath” in it’s conceptual context….

Am I a loner, or a lone wolf as I prefer to refer to myself as, yes indeed I am

wolf_homage_905though much of that I think is highly attributed to me being an only child… Do I feel better about rolling solo, well yes and no, I’ve been in two long term relationships, one lasted 2 and a half years, the other about 4, both ended up in total disaster, since then I’ve simply decided to call it quits,  for one I couldn’t find any emotional satisfaction with any of the people I’ve been involved with,  I do like sex in it’s physical form, and the way it feels naturally, but then generally I prefer to be left alone. I also  don’t particularly enjoy being around people, but that again can be attributed to being stabbed in the back way too many times by individuals I trusted or viewed as my “friends” or loved ones. Again I don’t think of any of that as my fault. I blame the individuals that I have encountered throughout my life for that, but then there is this lack of empathy and absence of emotions on my part, I don’t generally like to show it, so I fake it sort of speak, I put on a mask,  I am not out to hurt anyone, physically, or harm anyone in any way,   I treat people the way they treat me. Even though I did fantasize about killing my ex I was living with, once or twice, but I didn’t go through with it, mainly because I didn’t want to go to prison,  If I was a King and could do as I pleased without repercussion, I would make Henry VIII seem as a gentle bunny rabbit with puffy ears… in other words, heads would roll in the pool of blood. And I would fill dungeons with anyone who would dare question or oppose my rule.  the-25-most-unimaginable-medieval-torture-devices

In a nutshell I am a pretty lovable guy, who is generally misunderstood, but maybe it’s because I have no identity, everything about my life is fake, since my early childhood I’ve been living a lie, it’s very easy for me to lie or pretend to care about something, I don’t have any particular interest aside from indulging myself in hedonistic life’s pleasures.. I could never keep a job long enough to actually save any real money,  and I get bored very easily and need to have constant variety of entertainment in my life to feel fully satisfied and content. And I can adopt very well.

But am I a psychopath ?  Granted I’ve been called that a few times mainly by the women in my life, but as I’ve pointed out earlier in my blog,  it takes one to know one, it takes a thief to catch a thief.

Lie, Cheat, do as I please, generally because I feel like it, I care very little for opinions of others,   I suck at being a boyfriend, take me for what I am a good lay… or so I’ve been told.

Could I kill ? Probably, if I had to sure, would I do it simply for kicks, no I mean what would be the point of that right ?  I never cared much for violence to be honest, and I really hate drawing attention to myself, I prefer to be in the shadows, nor am I looking for fame, I don’t seek stardom… I blend in, I smile, I laugh, and I am very courteous to other people when I need to be.  I can be sarcastic, I can be serious, I can be gentle and I can be rough, I can pretend very well and I am a very good liar. I am not an asshole, though I could be one, I am not a nice guy. though I could be one, I am not a gentlemen though I could be one, I am not an intellectual but I could be one,  I am not a conservative, but I could be one, I am not a Nazi, but I could be one, I am not political, but I could be into politics, I am not gay, but I could be gay, or at least I could pretend to be.

Love!  What is Love ?

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I could probably give you many definitions of my interpretation of what love is, but what point would that be, if I have never felt, or genuinely experienced it… I had sex, I love sex, soft, hard, dirty, romantic, lusty, how do you tell a person you’ve slept with,   “Thank you for your time it’s been great, but you can go home now” Very easily just say it and point to the door, or you can…

Just remove the “ugly” part  “Please leave before I wake up” straight and to the point..

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So who am I really ?  To be perfectly honest I haven’t the slightest idea, for all you know this blog could have been written by a woman, now wouldn’t that be fun…. I guess you’ll never know……………….    and that in a nutshell is the name of the game.

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